Someday
by Gaia Less
Summary: Mulder and Scully are separated, then reunited.


someday

TITLE: Someday  
AUTHOR: Gaia Less  
RATING: PG  
SPOILERS: through season 5... takes place after season five, when the xfiles were closed :)  
SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully are separated, then reunited.  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I dont own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I didn;t create em, I'm just playing with them. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise!! Please don't sue me...   
  
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, that's cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. Hehe  
  
notes and such at the end  
  
Amy and Mark Bunton are my own characters. I created them. Still not making money... damn.  
  
Point of view changes from Mulder to Scully at the [*****]'s.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
*Someday*  
by GL  
  
Bunton's Grocery  
Allen Park, MI  
1:15 pm  
  
I sigh, leaning against the counter. Checking my watch, I realize it's only quarter after one. Mark wants me to work until six.  
  
It figures. I finally get a day off from the hospital, and Mark needs me to work. I wanted to sleep in a little bit, maybe read part of a book... I sort of wanted to write a letter to Mulder. It's been too long since the last time I'd written. I have a lot to tell him.  
  
Hey, honey, Mark says, walking past. I smile at him. I'll be back later, okay? I gotta run to the bank.  
  
See ya, I reply, waving a little.  
  
I sigh again. I wish there was something to do...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
1:30  
  
I spoke too soon. The store is completely full of customers now. It's not a big store, so with ten people crowded around the meat counter it's very difficult to keep track. And it can fill up *very* fast.  
  
I check the take-a-number' rack, and call out, Number thirteen!  
  
A man turns around. He places the number card on top of the counter, and says, Hi, I need--  
  
He looks up at me. I look back up at him. My jaw drops.  
  
M-Mulder? Fox Mulder? I stutter, gasping.  
  
Scully? What are you--  
  
Oh my gosh! I cry, running around the counter to hug him. How have you been?  
  
He hugs me back. I am oblivious to the customers staring at us. I've been okay. He lowers his voice. I miss you.  
  
I step back. I miss you too, Mulder, I say, taking his hand. Why are you in Michigan?  
  
he replies. I didn't even realize you lived here now.  
  
I smile. Pretty weird. It must be an X-File.  
  
he replies. Um. What are you doing working here? he asks.  
  
Oh... my, um, my husband owns the store, and he needed me to work today.  
  
You're married, he says. Not a question.  
  
I say softly, nodding. Just last month.  
  
He lets go of my hand. He looks down and asks, Why didn't you tell me?  
  
I didn't get a chance, I admit truthfully. I've been working at the hospital, and this is my first day off in a long time.  
  
He nods. When are you off?  
  
  
  
Okay... do you want to meet me later? Coffee, or something?  
  
I smile at him. You can pick me up here at six. Mark won't mind.  
  
He nods again. I'll see you later then. He walks past me and out the door.  
  
Mul--wait--didn't you want-- I call after him, but he doesn't turn around.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
*****  
  
She's... married? And she didn't tell me? Why?  
  
I guess there's no way for me to know until later. Six o'clock.  
  
She doesn't know how much I love her. I thought she loved me at one time... but maybe she didn't.   
  
God, I miss her so much. I haven't seen her in two years, when the X-Files were closed. For good. I've barely even talked to her. She moved away after they were closed. She called a few times, and wrote. She hasn't written in a while though. Certainly not since she met Mark or whatever.  
  
Am I just jealous? Maybe I am. I don't even know this guy, and I want what he has. But I guess I can't. I respect Scully, and I know that she would make a decision--like marriage--only if she was really serious about it.  
  
I guess I'll just have to wait until six.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
*****  
  
5:49 pm  
  
You're what?!  
  
I'm going for coffee with an old friend, I answer calmly. For the second time.  
  
Arguing with Amy, my fifteen-year-old stepdaughter, is not always fun. She can be pretty nice sometimes, but when it comes to friends who are men, she doesn't like it. She and her dad are really close, and Mark's first marriage ended when his wife had an affair. Amy is probably afraid of that happening again.  
  
Dana, you and my dad have only been married for a month, Amy reminds me.  
  
Yes, I know. And I haven't seen Mulder in three years. I can assure you, he's only a friend.  
  
Amy's lower lip trembles. Hey, hon, don't cry, I say, touching her arm. You know I love your dad. And I love you like my own daughter too. I can understand why you're afraid of--  
  
Shut up. I don't wanna talk about Mom.  
  
I nod. Okay. Look, I already talked this over with your dad. He's okay with it, and I think you should be too.  
  
She gives me a look and then walks into the back of the store, probably to talk to Mark.  
  
I sigh, look out the window to make sure Mulder isn't here yet, and then walk into the back room to talk to my husband.  
  
Amy is in the office, talking to him. Yelling, really. She quiets down when I walk in. I stand next to Mark, and he puts his arm around me. He starts to say something to Amy, but she gives me a look and stalks out of the office. She mutters something under her breath.   
  
What was that? Mark asks, a warning tone in her voice.  
  
Amy turns and glares at me.I hate you! she says, and then leaves.  
  
I sigh and turn to Mark. She doesn't hate you, he says. She's just angry.  
  
I know, I reply. I don't blame her, either.  
  
What time will you be home? Mark asks, changing the subject.  
  
We won't be too long, I hope. You do know that Mulder is just my friend, right?  
  
Right. I trust you, honey.  
  
I smile up at him, and kiss his cheek. He'll be here soon. I'll see you at home.  
  
Bye. I love you.  
  
I love you too, I reply as I walk out of his office.  
  
Mulder is waiting by the cash register. he says with a smile.  
  
I say, returning the smile. I give him a hug. It's good to see you again, I add.  
  
I hear someone say. I turn around and see Amy sulking behind the bakery counter.   
  
I'll see you at home, hon, I say as cheerfully as I can. She sticks her tongue out at me.  
  
Mulder and I walk out to his car. I get in the passenger side. Who was that? he asks, starting the car.  
  
Amy. My stepdaughter. Her mom, Mark's ex-wife, had an affair, and she's afraid that's what's going to happen with... us, I say.  
  
Mulder nods. Poor kid. He looks at me. Where's good coffee? he asks.  
  
Hmm. Go straight. The Village Coffeeshop, straight ahead. It's a nice place, I say. The Village is one of my favorite places in the whole town. He drives to the coffeehouse and parallel parks in front. We walk across the street and into the small shop.  
  
Hi, Dana, the owner, Fred, calls to me.   
  
Hey Fred, I say with a smile. Fred, this is my friend, Fox Mulder. We used to work together.  
  
Nice to meet you, Mulder says, shaking Fred's hand.  
  
You too, Fred replies. What can I get for you two? he asks.  
  
A Village brew, I tell him.  
  
Um, same, Mulder says, staring up at the menu on the wall.  
  
You got it, Fred says, turning to fill up two cups. How's Mark? he asks me over the noise of the coffee maker.  
  
He's good... Amy's mad at me again.  
  
he says with a chuckle. She's a good girl when she's not pissed, he adds, turning to give us two steaming mugs of coffee. he says.   
  
I hand him the money. She's *always* mad at me for one reason or another, I say.  
  
Yeah well. Eventually something will happen to make her realize how much she needs a mom like you.  
  
Thanks, Fred.   
  
Mulder and I go to sit at a small table. Cool place, he says, looking around.  
  
I agree with him. It's a very cool place. Amy used to sing here on open mic night with her friends. It was one of her favorite hangouts, until I decided that I liked it too. She stopped coming here then.  
  
The walls are painted dark red, and the tables and chairs are all mismatched. There are photographs on the wall, taken by the other owner, Anne. There are all kinds of other things too. Fred has two gargoyles perched up near the ceiling, and lots of other statues and knickknacks around. It's a really cool place, and I love being here when I have the time. A lot of times I'll bring work to do here, because it's quiet and peaceful, and I can keep my concentration without having to worry about Amy.  
  
Yeah, it is a really cool place, I say to Mulder.  
  
He pauses for a moment. I've missed you so much, he says.  
  
I know. I have too.  
  
How did you meet Mark? Mulder asks.  
  
At the store. When I moved here, I started shopping in his store, and one day Mark asked me out. I fell in love with him, I tell him.  
  
Mulder nods. I wish you would have told me. I just feel...  
  
I know. This has to be a surprise for you. I didn't come here looking for a husband, Mulder. I came here so... so I could try to forget about you.  
  
He looks up at me, his eyes wide. What's that supposed to mean? he asks.  
  
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Really. I take his hand across the table. Mulder, I... I meant that I didn't want to stay in Washington if it meant I couldn't work with you. It would be hard on both of us. When I got a job at a hospital out here, I took it because at least it would be something for me to do, without having to deal with the pain of seeing you, and missing working with you. I pause. That still didn't come out the way I wanted it to--  
  
I understand what you're saying, he cuts me off. I just... I wish you'd told me, that's all.  
  
I nod. I'm sorry.  
  
It's okay.  
  
What have you been doing recently? I ask him.  
  
Nothing too interesting. Go to work. Go home. Sleep. Go to work. He shrugs. I wish I could get a new job, because the FBI isn't the same for me without the X-Files. And without you there. I haven't gotten a new partner, he adds.  
  
I nod and sip my coffee. Work for me isn't the same either. I mean, obviously, since I'm in a hospital now... but since you aren't there. I'm so used to you, Mulder, even after three years of not seeing you. I drink the last sip of my coffee, and say, I'm going to refill this. Do you want another one?  
  
He hands me his mug and I walk up to the counter and ask Fred to refill them both. Then I walk back and sit down at the table.  
  
We both finish the second coffee and then just sit and talk for a while. I check my watch later. Geez, it's already eight, I say.  
  
Mulder looks at his own watch.   
  
I really gotta get home. I told Mark and Amy I wouldn't be too late.  
  
Mulder nods, and we stand up from the table. I say goodbye to Fred, and Mulder and I leave. On the way out, I feel Mulder's hand on the small of my back, the way he always did when we worked together.  
  
We walk out to his car without speaking. Which way is your house? he asks me.  
  
Um, it's the other way. You'll have to turn around, I tell him. He starts the car and drives around the block, turning us around. I give him directions to my house, and he starts to drive.  
  
At a stoplight, Mulder turns to me. There's, um, there's one other thing I want to know, Scully.  
  
I ask.   
  
The light turns green and he pulls down a side street and parks the car for a moment. Mulder stares straight ahead and says, Scully, I've loved you for as long as I can remember... and I just want to know... did you ever love me?  
  
His question brings tears to my eyes. For a moment I can't answer. Finally, I say, Mulder... I love you too... I have for a long time. But... I love Mark, too. I'm *in* love with him. Do you understand?  
  
He nods. And I respect that, Scully. He turns to me, then closes his eyes. I see a tear squeeze out, and I lean toward him and hug him. I love you so much... but I respect the fact that you're married now, and I know that there's nothing I can do... I'm happy for you, Scully. He hugs me back, holding onto me tightly.  
  
Someday, Mulder... we'll be together someday. Whether it's tomorrow, or ten years from now, or even in this lifetime, I don't know. But I promise you, someday... I kiss his forehead, and his cheeks, trying to keep us both from crying. Suddenly, I feel his lips on mine...  
  
I don't pull away. I let him kiss me. I know I shouldn't, I know I should pull away from him and tell him to just take me home, but I can't. I've wanted him to kiss me, to tell me he loves me, for so long. I kiss him back against my better judgment, letting everything else just drift away.   
  
My cell phone rings, and I quickly pull away from him and stare at him, not knowing what to say. I clear my throat and wipe my tears away. I answer the phone. I say.  
  
Where are you? It's Amy.  
  
I'm on my way home, Ames. I'm actually in the car right now.  
  
Oh. What's that sound?  
  
What sound?  
  
You sound like you're out of breath. What's going on?  
  
My breath catches, but I save myself from embarrassment and say, Nothing, Amy. I'm on my way home right now. Okay?  
  
I don't believe you.  
  
Amy, I'm going to hang up now.  
  
She hangs up first.  
  
I turn to Mulder, biting my lip. I... please take me home, Mulder.  
  
He nods and starts the car again, and finds his way to my house. By the time he gets there, we've both stopped crying, but neither of us have said a word. It was nice seeing you again, I say as he pulls into the driveway.  
  
You too.  
  
I'll call you sometime, okay? I promise.  
  
He nods. I hope so. Bye.  
  
Goodbye, Fox, I say, using his first name. Then I get out of the car, close the door, and watch as he pulls out of the driveway and drives away. I watch him until he turns his car down another street, and then I head inside.  
  
I'm home! I call, once inside.   
  
He walks into the kitchen. Hi, honey, he says. I walk to him and give him a hug. What's the matter? he asks.  
  
I reply with a smile. Everything's fine.  
  
Sure it is, I hear Amy mumble from the other room. You know, not many women can be with two men in one night, she says.  
  
Mark says, pulling away from me. He goes into the other room. You have no reason to talk to her like that. She is your step-mother, and you may *not* accuse her of anything. She was not *with* anyone tonight. She was having coffee with an old friend. You can go to your room.  
  
Amy rolls her eyes and stands up from the couch. She goes into her room and slams the door.  
  
I'm sorry she's been treating you this way, Mark says to me.  
  
It's okay. I know she's mad at her mom, and there's no way for her to take it out on anyone but me.  
  
It's *not* okay. You are her step-mother now, and I expect her to treat you like a person, instead of just a way to take out her anger with her mom.  
  
I nod and sigh. I know. This won't last forever, though.  
  
Right. Eventually Amy will get over it, and realize that you aren't going to ruin our family the way her mother did. I trust you, Dana... it's going to take time, but someday Amy will too.  
  
*Someday,* I repeat in my head. That's what I told Mulder: *Someday.* I nod and smile at Mark. Then I reach for him and hug him again. I love you, I say to him.  
  
I love you too. I shut my eyes and lay my head on his shoulder. It's been a long day for me... I'm going to bed.  
  
Already? It's only nine, he says.  
  
I know. It's just been a weird day, and I need some sleep.  
  
Okay honey. I'll see you later.  
  
I reply, and head upstairs.  
  
I crawl into the bed and pull the blankets up around me. For a long time I stare up at the ceiling, wondering what to think. I feel so awful about kissing Mulder... but at the same time, it felt right. Do I really love Mark? Or am I kidding myself? Am I hiding behind something to try to forget Mulder? To run away from my problems?  
  
I squeeze my eyes shut. I know I love Mark. I wouldn't have married him if I didn't. I love him, and I love his daughter, and I want to be his wife. *For God's sake, Dana, it's only been a month. Get a hold of yourself!*  
  
I roll over and start to cry. At that moment, I hear the door creak open and Mark's footsteps coming up the stairs. I quickly dry my eyes and pretend to sleep.  
  
Dana? You awake?  
  
I roll over, pretending to have been awaken from a deep sleep.  
  
Oh, I'm sorry. I woke you.  
  
It's okay, I reply as he gets into bed next to me. He wraps his arms around me and holds me.  
  
You're shaking. Are you okay?  
  
I lie, with a sniffle.  
  
You were crying.  
  
I pause. Then I admit,   
  
Why? What's wrong?  
  
Oh, I don't know. I'm confused.  
  
About your friend? Why?  
  
I don't know... it's hard to explain. When we worked together, I was very close to him... more than friends, but not lovers. And seeing him again brought back some of those feelings... Mark, I don't know what to think. I love you so much, but...  
  
Oh, God, he says, holding me closer. You aren't--  
  
No. Nothing is going to happen to us. I promise you that. I just... oh, God... I start to cry again, and Mark rubs my back soothingly.  
  
It's okay, Dana. Everything's going to be all right.  
  
I can't hold this back. It would be lying. Mark, he kissed me good night... I kissed him back. I've felt so horrible about it for the past few hours... Amy called my cell when we were kissing, and she must have thought something was going on... I don't blame her for hating me, I feel like such a terrible person...  
  
Mark is silent for a moment. You were honest with me. Thank you. He pauses again. I'm not upset, Dana, if that's what you're afraid of. I told you, I trust you. I know that you're just friends with him, and I'm not going to tell you you can't be.  
  
You aren't mad?  
  
You didn't sleep with him, did you?  
  
  
  
And you didn't lie to me about anything?  
  
  
  
Then I can't be angry. I love you too much. I trust you more in a month of our marriage than I trusted my ex-wife after 15 years.  
  
I sigh. Thank you, Mark.  
  
I love you.  
  
Love you too, I whisper as I fall asleep in his arms.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Eleven Months Later  
  
Amy calls up the stairs.  
  
I call back. I'm on the computer, hon!  
  
I hear her footsteps coming upstairs. Lauren wants to know if I can spend the night at her house.  
  
Did you ask your dad?  
  
He's not here.  
  
It's fine with me, I say. You should probably call him at the store though.  
  
It's okay... he wanted me to spend the night at Gramma's tonight anyway, because he wanted to ta-- she stops in the middle of the sentence. Never mind. Thanks! she says, running back downstairs.  
  
I stare at the floor where she'd been standing. He'd wanted to *what?* I smile. Amy ruined the surprise. *He wanted to take me out tonight,* I mentally finish her sentence. Today is our first anniversary. He didn't forget.  
  
I smile and look at the card that I got from Mulder that is sitting on my desk. Happy Anniversary it read on the front. On the inside was a corny verse, and a handwritten message. Congratulations on your first anniversary. Hope you have many more. Love, Fox Mark hadn't said anything about the Love, Fox part, and I was glad he hadn't. Anyway, I don't think Mulder meant it like that... or, if he had, Mark thought nothing of it.  
  
I try not to think too much of it, either.  
  
I spoke to Mulder a few more times in the past year. It was nice. I know that he's decided and accepts the fact that I'm married now, and that there's no way that I'm changing my mind about it. I've began to accept that too.   
  
Even Amy has. I talked to her about Mulder, and she understands now that we are only friends, and that nothing happened between us that night, except for the kiss. I told her about that too. I'd said that I wanted to be completely honest with her, and that she had the right to know. She admitted that she was afraid of losing me the same way she lost her mom, and she didn't want that to happen because she loved me the way that she loved her mom before her affair. Amy and I are closer than ever now. She's even started going to The Village Coffeehouse again--and sometimes she even shows up with me.  
  
The phone on my desk rings. I answer it.  
  
Hi, Dana.  
  
Mark, hi, I reply, smiling. How's work?  
  
Good... I'm getting off early today.  
  
How come? I ask.  
  
I've made dinner reservations tonight, he tells me.  
  
  
  
It's a surprise, he tells me.  
  
I smile. What time? I ask.  
  
Five thirty. I'm going to be home in about an hour.  
  
I say. Amy's going to spend the night at Lauren's tonight, I add.  
  
Really? Oh, good. I was going to leave her with my mom, but I didn't want to make her feel like we were getting her a babysitter.  
  
Well that's taken care of. I'll see you in a while, okay? I've got some work to finish.  
  
All right. See you later. Love you.  
  
Love you too. Bye. I hang up the phone and smile at the computer. Then I go downstairs to look for Amy.  
  
Thank you for ruining my surprise, I say to her, leaning in the doorframe of her bedroom.  
  
she asks, an innocent look on her face.  
  
When you slipped up upstairs. He wanted me to spend the night at Gramma's tonight so he could ta--' I imitate her.  
  
Oh, that. She grins.   
  
It's okay. When are you going to Lauren's?  
  
I was getting ready to go right now. Hey, since you and Dad will be gone, could I take the other car over there? she asks. She recently turned sixteen and got her driver's license, and now wants to take the car everywhere.  
  
I suppose so. Be careful, okay?  
  
I will, she says with a smile. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?  
  
Okay. See you later, sweetie. I give her a hug and she leaves.  
  
Then I go back upstairs to find something to wear tonight.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Mark gets home about an hour later, as he said. I can't believe that we've already been married for a year. It doesn't seem like it's been that long.   
  
Mark changes out of his work clothes and into something nicer. He comes back downstairs and says, Are you ready?  
  
I nod and smile. Let's go, I reply. I take his hand and we walk out to the car.   
  
Mark opens the door for me. I smile at him. He's such a gentleman sometimes. That's one of the reasons I married him, because he could be so charming and sweet. He walks around to the driver's side and starts the car.   
  
So, where are we going? I ask him.  
  
I told you, it's a surprise.  
  
Come on, tell me! I cry, laughing.   
  
Nope. We'll be there in a little while.  
  
I sigh defeatedly. I try to think of all the places he might take me for our anniversary. There are so many, though... I have no idea.  
  
Mark starts to come to a busy intersection. The light changes yellow as he starts to go through. Honey, careful, I say.  
  
  
  
I look out the driver's side window and scream as I see a Jeep blazing through the red light. Mark, watch out! I shriek. I hear an awful crash and feel the impact of the Jeep crashing into our car. After the crash, I look up. I see Mark slumped in his seat, bleeding. Oh my God, I choke. I start to cry, trying to wake him up. Mark, wake up, please wake up, I sob.  
  
I hear sirens approaching, and see the flashing lights outside my window. A paramedic comes up to my car. Help me, I cry, and they work to get us both out of the car.  
  
I see them wheel Mark's stretcher away from me. He's still unconscious. I cry. I finally black out when they shut the doors of the ambulance.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I hear someone say. Not Mark. I struggle to open my eyes and see Amy sitting next to my bed, holding my hand.  
  
I manage to say.  
  
Thank God, she whispers, giving me a hug. I was so scared! They called me at Lauren's last night and said you and Daddy were in an accident.  
  
Where's your dad? I ask her.  
  
I don't know... he was in surgery when I got here and now he's in ICU. They won't let me see him...  
  
Have they told you anything?  
  
Amy shakes her head. Then she looks at the floor. I called your friend, Mulder, she tells me.  
  
You... you did? How did you get his number?  
  
I looked in your address book at home. I thought you might want to see him.  
  
Thank you, I say, biting my lip.   
  
A doctor comes into the room. You're awake, he says. How are you fee--  
  
How's my husband? I interrupt him.  
  
What's his name?  
  
Mark Bunton.  
  
The doctor nods. Ah, yes. Um... He flips a few papers on his clipboard. He's been in a coma since they brought him in last night.  
  
I nod and close my eyes. I... I don't know if you know this yet... he's DNR.  
  
The doctor nods. Thank you. Uh, I'll be sure to tell his doctors that, he says softly.  
  
I nod again, holding my breath.   
  
The doctor asks me a few more questions and then leaves. Amy's voice trembles.  
  
  
  
DNR means Do Not Resuscitate, right?  
  
Yeah. It does.  
  
I look over at her. She starts to cry, and then comes back over to my bedside. I give her a hug, but I don't cry.  
  
There's a knock at the door. I look up and see Mulder standing in the door, holding a bouquet of flowers. I smile sadly at him as he walks over and gives me a hug. I see Amy in the corner of my eye, staring blankly out the window. How are you feeling? Mulder asks me.  
  
Like I was just in a car wreck, I reply.  
  
He sits down on the edge of my bed. How's Mark?  
  
He's... bad. They won't tell me much... he's in a coma though. And he's DNR... he's not gonna come out of this, I tell him, more telling myself, and Amy. I hear Amy gasp, and she runs out of the room. I want to go see him so bad...  
  
Do you want me to get a nurse, see if we could get you down there?  
  
I look up at him. Would you?  
  
Of course. He stands up and leaves the room.   
  
Amy comes back in a moment later, looking sick. I threw up, she moans miserably. Her cheeks are streaked with tears.   
  
Mulder's going to see if we can go down and see your dad, I tell her. She nods and looks at the floor again.   
  
Mulder comes into the room a few minutes later. They're going to bring you a wheelchair, he tells me.  
  
Thank you, Mulder, I say softly.   
  
He nods. I'll wait here for you.  
  
I nod as the nurse comes in. She helps me into the wheelchair. Then she takes me down to ICU. Amy follows us.  
  
He's in here, the nurse tells me. She wheels me into a room and pulls aside a curtain. I'll be outside.  
  
I whisper, wheeling over to his bedside. I take his hand. It feels cold. He's hooked up to about a million machines, helping him breathe, giving him medicines and painkillers, monitoring his heartbeat. I lay my head down next to him on the bed. God, Mark... why? Why did this have to happen? I whisper.   
  
Amy comes up behind me. He's *not* going to make it, is he, Amy whispers. It isn't a question.  
  
I don't think so, hon. I hold my breath, and then say, He doesn't want to live like this... on machines. I pause again. If he's not awake after a few days, we'll have to take him off. It's what he'd want.  
  
Amy chokes up again, and I turn around to hug her. She drops down to her knees and sobs into my shoulder. I hold her, comforting her.. I don't want Daddy to die, she cries.  
  
I don't either... but... I don't want him to live like this either... he's in so much pain, Amy...  
  
A doctor enters the room. She looks surprised. You're family? she asks.  
  
I nod. I'm his wife... this is his daughter, Amy.  
  
The doctor nods. I'm Karen DeVoe, Mark's doctor. I'm glad you've come down here. I need to talk to you both.  
  
I nod, and Amy pulls a chair over next to me. Dr. DeVoe brings over a chair also. I've been told Mark has a DNR.  
  
I say. My voice is surprisingly strong.   
  
And you both know what that means?  
  
I say again. I'm a doctor myself...  
  
I see. I know this is a very difficult thing to deal with. Mark has been on a ventilator and many other machines to keep him alive. He's still in critical condition. You can make the decision to--  
  
At that moment, a machine starts to wail. I turn around and see that he's flatlining. Oh, God, I whisper, grabbing Amy's hand. Dr. DeVoe jumps up. She calls a nurse in. I cover my mouth with my hand. I stare at him in disbelief. Not yet, please God, don't take him from me...  
  
Amy says. Is he... is he gone?  
  
I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and nod. After what seems like an eternity, the machine stops wailing, and I faintly hear Dr. DeVoe say, Time of death: 9:09. She turns to Amy and me. I'm very sorry.  
  
I slump down in my wheelchair. I see Amy walk over to Mark's bedside and pull down the sheet. She hugs him and whispers, I love you, Daddy. Then she starts to cry and runs out of the room.   
  
I wheel over to Mark's bedside again. I manage to lift myself out of the chair and I lean down and put my head down on his chest. There is no heartbeat anymore. I love you so much, Mark... goodbye... I whisper, my voice trembling. Then I drop myself back to the chair and wheel out of the room.   
  
The nurse is no longer waiting outside, so I wheel myself to the elevator and go back up to my own room. When I get there, I see Mulder sitting on a bench outside my room. He looks up at me when I start down the hallway. He follows me into my room. Is he...? he asks.  
  
He's gone, I say, my voice breaking.   
  
Oh, God, Dana, he says. I'm so sorry.  
  
The tears stream down my face for the first time. I hadn't cried at all when I was in his room. He helps me back into my bed and holds me close. It's okay... it's okay... he's not in any pain anymore... shh...  
  
I know... I didn't want him to be in pain... but... Mulder, it was our anniversary... I didn't even get to say goodbye...  
  
I'm sorry, he whispers again. He rubs my back the way Mark used to, making me cry harder.  
  
Mulder, I loved him so much... I really did...  
  
I know. I know. Shhh, he murmurs soothingly.   
  
I bury my face in his shoulder, trying to stop crying. He kisses the side of my head and rocks back and forth gently. I look up when I hear someone enter the room. Amy walks in and sinks down into a chair. Her face is stained with tears. She stares at the floor, not saying anything.  
  
Mulder, can you leave me and Amy alone for a minute? I whisper, my voice shaking.  
  
He nods and kisses my forehead. Then he stands up and walks out of the room.  
  
Amy looks up at me. Then she walks over to my bed and sits down.   
  
I reach up and brush her hair behind her ear. I know this is difficult for you, I tell her softly.  
  
She looks at me, her eyes filling with tears. I... I talked to my mother last night. She made me so mad... she started talking about how much she loved my dad, and how awful this all is... she has no idea. She left us. She doesn't care... and... her voice cracks and she starts to cry. She wants me to come and live with her and her new husband... I didn't even know she was married again. Dana, I don't *want* to go live with her! I want to stay with you!  
  
I bite my lip, feeling torn. I don't know what to say. I don't want you to go, either, Amy. I love you as much as I would if you were my own daughter, and I don't want you to have to do anything you don't want to do.  
  
I... I hate my mother for what she did to us... if it wasn't for that, you wouldn't be here, and none of this would have happened.  
  
I nod. I'm so sorry, Ames, I say, giving her a hug. And I promise that we'll get through this. I don't want you to have to live with your mother, especially since she hurt you so badly. I can understand why you don't trust her.  
  
Thank you, Dana, she says quietly, sniffling. She sits up and wipes her face. She turns and looks behind her, and then turns back to me again. Can I ask you a question?  
  
  
  
You love Mulder, don't you? she asks softly.  
  
I hold my breath. How do I answer that question less than a half hour after my husband, her father, died?  
  
You do. I can tell.  
  
I nod, trying to keep myself from crying. I loved him a long time ago, when we worked together... and I guess I still do... I don't want to hurt you though, I know how hard this is... it's so hard for me to accept too.  
  
Amy nods. She surprises me when she says, I'm not mad at you about that, either... you didn't do what my mom did to us. She's silent for a moment, and then asks, Now what?  
  
I don't know what's going to happen next. We'll just have to wait and see. I sigh, and wipe my tears away. Why don't you go home, or back to Lauren's. You should get some sleep.  
  
I don't want to leave you.  
  
Go home. I mean it. I'll be fine.  
  
If you're sure...  
  
I'm fine, I repeat. Do you still have the car?  
  
She sighs. I think I'm just gonna go home... is there anything you want me to do?   
  
I tell her. You need some rest. It's been a long night. I give her another hug. I'll call later, okay?  
  
She stands up and backs slowly away. She turns and starts to leave, and then turns around. I--I love you, Mom, she says, and then turns back around and leaves.  
  
I smile to myself. She's never told me that she loved me before... I know that she does, but the fact that she actually said the words--and called me Mom--is very touching.  
  
I sit in my bed, alone for the moment. I stare down at my hands, down at the ring that Mark gave to me a year and a day ago. I think back to that day, our wedding day, and how happy we both were.  
  
I close my eyes, picturing everything exactly the way it was. The flowers. The way the small chapel was decorated. The people. My dress. Seeing Mark smiling at me from the end of the aisle. My mother crying in the front pew during the ceremony. Amy scowling in the second pew. And the ring. It was so beautiful, and I felt so happy that day, so overwhelmingly happy.  
  
And now Mark was gone. The only things I have left are my memories... and the ring.  
  
I start to cry again. Eventually I stop crying, feeling as if there are no tears left, besides the ones left drying on my cheeks, and I feel my eyes close and fall into a restless sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
13 hours later  
11:21 pm  
  
Dana? Dana, honey, can you hear me?  
  
I struggle to wake up. With great effort, I open my eyes and see my mom sitting next to me on my bed.  
  
I ask. I rub my eyes.  
  
Oh, thank God, she says, quickly giving me a hug. How are you?  
  
I could be better... I feel fine physically, but... oh, God, Mom... Mark's dead, I tell her.  
  
I know, I heard. I was so worried that you were hurt badly, too...  
  
I'm okay... but I don't know what I'm going to do... he's dead, Mom, he's *gone.*  
  
I'm so sorry, honey, she says, starting to cry. But I don't cry again.   
  
Who called you? I ask.  
  
Fox Mulder, she tells me. I was surprised to hear from him... but he told me there had been an accident, and that Mark was dead. I flew out on the next flight... you've been sleeping since I got here.  
  
Where's Mulder? I ask.  
  
I think he went to your house to see how Amy was doing.  
  
I reply. Have you talked to her?  
  
No. Fox said she was sleeping.  
  
I swallow a lump in my throat. Have you talked to my doctors?  
  
Yes. They said you'll be fine to go home as soon as tomorrow morning.  
  
I nod. Then I squeeze my eyes shut. How did I manage to get out of such a horrible accident with nothing but a few bruises? I ask myself.   
  
It's a miracle that you did, Mom says, standing up.  
  
It's not. Mark's dead. That's no miracle, Mom. He's dead! I was able to get out of that car, but he never did. It was our anniversary, Mom... he was taking me out for a surprise. I still don't know where we were going, and I never will. I feel so guilty, that I'm fine and he's *dead!*  
  
Mark would feel the same way if it was you who didn't make it. You don't need to feel guilty. Just feel very fortunate that you didn't die.  
  
I'd rather die than live with feeling as if I got off easier than he did... that he had to suffer, I whisper.   
  
Don't worry. It was his time. When God is ready to take someone, he does. It was Mark's time. She takes my hand, and adds in a whisper, You know that he's in a better place.  
  
I nod sadly. You're right... he isn't suffering anymore. I sigh. I just wish there was something I could have done.  
  
Of course you do. But you don't have to feel guilty. It wasn't your fault. She leans down and kisses my forehead. Now go back to sleep. You'll get to go home in the morning. I'll stay here, okay?  
  
Thanks, Mom.  
  
Good night, Dana.  
  
  
  
I shut my eyes and fall back asleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
*****  
  
11:21 pm  
  
I wake up when I hear someone crying upstairs. *Amy,* I think. I start to go upstairs when I realize she might not want me comforting her. Her father died and here I am, as some sort of replacement. Plus, she doesn't even know I'm here.   
  
I sit back down on the couch where I'd been sleeping. I look around Dana's living room, at the pictures of her and Mark, smiling and enjoying their first year of marriage, not knowing that it would all end so horribly.  
  
I hear footsteps coming down the stairs, and Amy walks into the living room. She sees me sitting on the couch and screams. I stand up and turn on a light. Hey, it's okay, I tell her.  
  
Oh my God, she says, putting a hand over her mouth. You scared me... I thought you were Dad.  
  
I shake my head. Sorry... I didn't mean to scare you. I came by to see how you were, but you were sleeping, and I fell asleep on the couch.  
  
She nods shakily and sits down in the recliner.   
  
How are you holding up? I ask her.  
  
Not good, she says. Who's at the hospital with Dana?  
  
I called her mother, I tell her. I stayed until she got there, and then I came back here.  
  
She chews on a fingernail nervously. Do you know when Dana will be home?  
  
I think in the morning.  
  
Amy nods again. W-what are you going to do after she comes home?  
  
I don't know, I reply.   
  
You want to stay, don't you? she asks me.  
  
I might, if Scu--I mean, Dana wants me to. Otherwise I'm going to go back to Washington.  
  
She's not going to want you to leave, Amy says quietly.  
  
How do you know?  
  
She shrugs. Can I ask you something?  
  
Go ahead.  
  
Do you love Dana?  
  
I don't know what to say. If I say no, I'll be lying, but if I say yes, I could hurt Amy.  
  
You do, don't you, she whispers.  
  
I nod helplessly. I do.  
  
She loves you too. She told me.  
  
Sh-she did?  
  
Amy nods.   
  
How do you feel about that?  
  
She shrugs again and looks down at the floor. I don't know. I know she loved my dad, but she loves you too. My dad's dead now... now there's you.  
  
I'm not sure I understand.  
  
I'm not angry.  
  
  
  
Really. Dana is more like a mother to me than my real mom, and I want her to be happy. She was good to my dad, and she didn't do what my mom did to us.  
  
I think back to the last time I saw Dana, when I was on vacation. I think of the situation she was in then, and how Amy distrusted her. It seems like Amy is a totally different person now, and it's hard to believe.  
  
Thank you, Amy. You should go back to sleep now.  
  
Okay. Good night, Mulder.  
  
Good night. I lay back down on the couch, and close my eyes. I fall asleep and dream of Dana.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
9:57 am  
  
I wake up in the morning when I hear a key turning in the front door. I sit up on the couch and rub my eyes. Scully walks into the living room. Did I wake you up? she asks me.  
  
Yeah, but it's okay, I reply.   
  
She nods. Where's Amy?  
  
I think she's still asleep, but I don't know.   
  
Scully walks toward the stairs and goes up to Amy's room. I stand up and follow her. She walks down the hall and opens Amy's door a crack. She shuts it and turns around. She's sleeping.  
  
I nod. How are you?  
  
I'm okay, she says. Thanks for staying here.  
  
It's not a problem. I want to be here for you and Amy.  
  
Thank you, Mulder. She walks toward me and I put my arms around her and hold her.  
  
She sighs and leans against me. she whispers.  
  
Where's your mom? I ask her.  
  
She's staying in a hotel. We don't have an extra bedroom, she tells me. She'll be by later. She pulls away from me. I don't think she liked that you were staying here.  
  
I can go--  
  
No. I don't want you to leave.  
  
You don't? Exactly what Amy had said.  
  
Uh-uh. Please, stay here, she pleads, taking my hand.  
  
I'm not going anywhere, I tell her. I promise.  
  
She steps close to me again and whispers, We *will* be together someday...  
  
I put my arms around her again. I love you, Dana, I say softly.  
  
I love you too. I can't deny that, she whispers. Or ignore it. But my husband just died, and I loved him too... Mulder, I'm confused, she says, her voice threatening to break.   
  
Don't cry, I tell her. I know you have to be feeling torn right now. Maybe it's better if I left for a while, and let you figure things out.  
  
Stay for a while, she begs, stepping back again. I need you here.  
  
I nod in agreement. A few days, I compromise, and then I'm going back to Washington.  
  
  
  
The doorbell rings.   
  
That's my mom. I better go get the door. Come on, she says, taking my hand. We go downstairs and Dana lets her mom into the house.  
  
Hi, Dana, Mrs. Scully says, hugging her daughter. Hello, Fox, she says to me. She lets go of Dana and walks over to me. It's good to see you again, she says, hugging me.  
  
You too, I reply.  
  
Come on, Mom, I'll make some coffee. They walk back to the kitchen.   
  
I sit down on the couch, taking everything in. I decide to leave Dana and her mother alone.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
*****  
  
I stand at the counter, staring a pot of coffee. Mom sits down at the table. How are you doing, honey? she asks me.  
  
I don't know. Trying to deal. Mulder's a big help.  
  
Mom nods. How long is he staying?  
  
I'm not sure. A few days. She nods again, and I sit down across the table from her. I'm having trouble accepting that Mark's really gone, I say.  
  
Amy walks into the kitchen. she says.  
  
Good morning, I say. My mom just got here.  
  
Hi, Amy, my mom says, as Amy leans down to hug her.   
  
The doorbell rings and Amy runs to the door.  
  
I hear her cry. Amy hugs my mother-in-law and she stands in the doorway with her, crying.   
  
I walk into the living room as Amy's grandmother asks, Where's Dana?  
  
Hi, Mom, I say, walking over and hugging her.  
  
I just heard, she sobs. I came as quickly as I could. What happened?  
  
We were going to dinner, and another car ran a red light and hit ours... Mark didn't make it.  
  
W-was he killed instantly?  
  
I shake my head. No. But he never woke up.  
  
I hold my mother-in-law as she cries. Mark was an only child, so I can imagine how horrible this is for her.   
  
Eventually she calms down, and I lead her to the recliner in the living room. She sits down and picks up a framed photograph of Mark and me on our wedding day. She smiles sadly down at it and I sit beside Mulder on the couch. He looks at me, asking silently if I'm all right. I nod. Mulder, this is my mother-in-law. Mom, this is Fox Mulder. He's an old friend.  
  
Nice to meet you, Mulder says.  
  
Mark's mother stays for a while at our house before going back home. Later in the afternoon, after Mrs. Bunton leaves, Mulder lets my mother and I speak alone for a while, and goes upstairs to lay down. Amy goes to Lauren's house, and Mom and I sit on the couch in the living room. I get another coffee.  
  
Are you glad Fox is here for you? Mom asks.  
  
Of course I am. I've missed him.  
  
How long did you say he was staying?  
  
Mom, that's the third time you've asked that. I told you, I don't know yet.  
  
Dana, I know how you felt about Fox when you were working with him, and honestly, I always thought you two would end up together. Right now, I don't think it's the best thing for him to be here... your husband just died, you don't need--  
  
I interrupt. Mulder is my *friend.* He's here to help me get through this. Yes, I care about him very much. And, I continue, starting to cry, I think I can use all the friends I can get right now. Mark's gone... I start to sob quietly, putting my head down on the table.  
  
Dana, I didn't mean to upset you, Mom says, putting her hand on my shoulder. I just meant--  
  
I know what you meant. Just... please, I want to deal with this myself... and I want Mulder to be here.  
  
Mom sighs. I think I'm going to get going. I'll call later, all right?  
  
I nod. Bye, Mom.  
  
She stands up and leaves. I sit at the table, staring at my coffee mug. There's so much I have to take care of: funeral arrangements, people to call... So much I don't want to have to deal with right now. So much I shouldn't be dealing with at this time in my life.  
  
I stare out the window blankly. It's a beautiful sunny day. How can everything be so wonderful outside when inside I feel like I'm falling apart?  
  
I yawn, feeling extremely tired all of a sudden. I need a nap. Then I remember Mulder is asleep upstairs. I could always sleep in Amy's room... but then again, if she comes home, she might want to be alone. With a sigh, I go up to my room to kick Mulder out.  
  
I open the door quietly and see Mulder sleeping on my side of the bed. I don't want to wake him, but I walk across to the bed and kneel down. I whisper.  
  
He opens his eyes. Oh, hi.  
  
I forget where I am for a moment, and what I was doing. Oh. Um. I wanted to lie down for a while, would you...  
  
Do you want me to go downstairs? he asks.  
  
I blink. I say.   
  
He sits up and stretches. He swings his feet over the side of the bed and I sit down next to him. Your mom gone?  
  
Yeah, she just left.  
  
Mulder says. Are you feeling okay?  
  
I've got a headache. I just want to sleep for a while, I'm so exhausted. I smile sadly. All I've been doing is sleeping, you'd think I'd be awake. Especially after five cups of coffee.   
  
Were you crying again? he asks.  
  
Yeah. My mom...  
  
What did she say?  
  
She doesn't think you should be here. She knows I loved--I love you, and she thinks that since my husband just died, that you shouldn't be here, that I don't need you back in my life. I start to cry again.  
  
Maybe I should leave then.  
  
I cry. Don't. Stay, Mulder, please stay with me... I really *do* need you.  
  
What about your mom?  
  
She doesn't understand.  
  
I'm sure she does.  
  
How can she? She's never had this dilemma.  
  
She knows what it's like to lose a spouse though, Mulder reminds me. It couldn't have been any easier for her when your father died.  
  
I don't know how to answer him, so I lay down on the bed and cry. Mulder leans down and holds me. I know this had to be hard for you. I'm so sorry, Scully.  
  
I roll onto my side, putting my head on Mulder's shoulder. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here, Mulder, I whisper. I brush away a tear. I didn't know what I would do without you when I first moved here. I thought about you every day. I think I agreed to go out with Mark at first, as a way to get my mind off of you. I never expected to fall in love...  
  
It's okay, Scully... it's okay, Mulder whispers.  
  
Finally, I break down. I can't hold myself back anymore. I let Mulder hold me as I cry on his shoulder. I sob loudly, crying for Mark, for Amy, for myself, for Mulder. I clutch the back of Mulder's shirt, holding onto him as if somehow it could bring Mark back.   
  
I cry for what seems like forever. Suddenly I stop, exhausted. I feel my eyes slowly close, and I fall into a deep sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
*****  
  
I say softly. She doesn't say anything. She answers me with a sigh, and her hold on my shirt relaxes. Gently, I manage to pick her up and tuck her into the bed.   
  
I start to leave, but she holds onto my arm. Whether she's aware of it, I don't know, but she murmurs, Don't go.  
  
I whisper again.  
  
Her eyes open a crack, and she looks up at me. She pulls on my arm and repeats, Don't go, Mulder. I sit back down next to her, holding her hand. She falls back asleep.  
  
A while later, I stretch out next to her, holding her small body close to me, protecting her. She sighs and rolls over to face me, burying her face in my shoulder. I close my eyes, imagining something, us, together. Like we were supposed to be.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
*****  
  
A faint sound. Far away. A ringing. I'm too warm and comfortable to move. I open my eyes, thinking for a moment that it's Mark holding me.   
  
Then I realize what the noise is. The phone.  
  
I sit up with a start, gasping. I look down, seeing Mulder waking up next to me. Not Mark. It will never be Mark again. With a sigh, I relax, and smile a little. You didn't go, I say, rubbing my eyes.  
  
He shakes his head. What's wrong?  
  
The phone.  
  
Mmm. Oh, he says, sitting up. Better go get it.  
  
You stay here, I tell him. Hopefully whoever is at the door won't be suspicious. He nods, and I leave the room. I hurry downstairs to where I left the cordless phone. I say breathlessly, turning it on.  
  
Dana, it's Bill. My brother.   
  
Hi, Bill, I say.  
  
How are you doing? Mom just called me.  
  
I'm okay. It's, um, I'm still trying to believe that Mark's really gone.  
  
I'm so sorry... is there anything you need?  
  
No, I'm okay.  
  
I could fly out tonight. If you need someone there--  
  
Someone's here. I'm not alone.  
  
  
  
I bite my lip. I can't tell him Mulder's here--Bill would first kill Mulder, and then me. Um, Mom. She's staying in town.  
  
I'm going to come out there. You need your family with you.  
  
Bill, I'm fine. My voice is trembling.  
  
When's the funeral? he asks.  
  
Three days. It's in three days, I answer, my eyes filling up with tears. Please, don't worry. Stay at home, you don't have to come out for a few days.  
  
You're crying.  
  
I've been crying for the past few days.  
  
Are you sure you don't want me to--  
  
I'm sure. Really. I'll see you in a few days, okay?  
  
Okay, but--  
  
Bye, Bill. I hang up the phone and turn around to see Mulder standing in the kitchen doorway.   
  
My brother, I say, motioning to the phone. I quickly wipe away my tears.  
  
Oh. Are you okay?  
  
I'm confused, Mulder, I admit.  
  
About what?  
  
Everything. Mark. You. Bill. What to tell people. I don't know! I cry, crumpling to the ground. I bring my knees up to my face and weep.  
  
Hey, hey, Mulder says, walking over and crouching down next to me. He puts one hand on my back. Maybe I *should* leave.  
  
See, that's one thing that's confusing me. I don't know if it's better for you to stay or go... Mulder, I love you, I-- I wipe my cheek on my sleeve. I just don't know what to think. I loved Mark, I really, really did. Everyone--my family--knows that. What are they going to say when they find out you're staying here? That's why you should go... but you should stay, because I don't know how I could stand to be alone... with Mark gone... Oh, God, Mulder, I'm so confused! I start to sob.  
  
I feel like I'm watching this all happen from the corner of the room. I can see myself going crazy on the floor with Mulder trying to comfort me. I don't know how to respond to him. I sob and sob uncontrollably--and there's nothing I can do about it.  
  
Mulder puts his arms around me and holds me tightly. It's the second time I've let myself lose it, and the millionth time he's been there for me. God, Mulder, I say again. What should I do?  
  
I can't tell you what to do. That's up to you. You need to do what feels right.  
  
Mulder, I don't know what's right!  
  
Neither do I. I love you, Scully, but I don't want to hurt you or your family.  
  
I love you so much... my family wouldn't like that though. I know they wouldn't... Why does this have to be so difficult? How can I love you and Mark both so much at the same time? I shout. It seems as if I'm angry, and I'm arguing with Mulder. But I'm not.   
  
Shh... calm down, Scully, Mulder says.  
  
I--I'm sorry, I choke. I didn't mean to yell, I'm sorry.  
  
It's all right, Scully. It's okay.  
  
The room is silent for a long time. I don't know what to say next. Then I whisper, Mulder, if you go away... do you promise you'll come back?  
  
I promise. I'll call, too.  
  
Then... maybe it's better if you leave... God...  
  
Are you sure?  
  
Yeah. Go now... otherwise I won't let you... call me as soon as you get home... please?  
  
I will. And when you want me to come back, I'll be here. Okay?  
  
I nod feebly. We both stand up and stare at each other for a moment. Then I'm back in his arms, holding onto him for dear life. I love you so much, Mulder...  
  
I love you too. I--I'm going to go now. I'll call you when I'm home.  
  
I nod again. I'll wait for your call, I whisper.   
  
He leans down and kisses me, and I kiss him back. I pull away from him when I hear a car in the driveway. Go, get out of here, I say with a sad smile. I'm going to miss you... thank you for being here.  
  
You're welcome, Scully. I'm not going to say goodbye, because this isn't goodbye. I'll see you again--remember, someday. This isn't it yet, but I'll be back when you need me, okay?  
  
I nod and whisper under my breath, I always need you.  
  
  
  
I shake my head. Goodb--I mean, I'll see you soon, okay?  
  
Mulder nods. I'll call you, he says, turning around and walking out the back door.  
  
Moments later, Amy walks through the front door. She comes into the kitchen and sees me leaning against the kitchen table, crying. Dana, are you okay? she asks.  
  
I'm fine, I say, wiping my face.  
  
Where's Mulder?  
  
He left.  
  
What? Why?  
  
I asked him to, I explain. Amy stares at me.   
  
I'm just surprised, that's all, Amy replies. Are you sure you're okay?  
  
I reply. I'm okay. My voice is barely above a whisper. How are *you* doing?  
  
She shrugs. Lauren cried with me most of the day. The usual.  
  
It'll get better, hon, I say, taking her hand.   
  
Why did you make Mulder go? she asks me again.  
  
It's better that way. Gosh, it seems like you wanted him around, I observe. Just a year ago, you hated him.  
  
But I know you love him.  
  
I love your dad.  
  
I know. But I trust you, and I know he did too. I know you love Mulder too.  
  
Well he's gone now. At least, for a while. It's better that way, honey, believe me. And, just between you and me, I'm going to call him back here as soon as all of this is behind us.  
  
  
  
I nod. Why are you so eager to get him back anyway?  
  
Because he made you feel better. I know you weren't as sad about Dad when he was here.  
  
Believe me, I was still sad about your Dad. I still am. I always will be. I was just glad to see Mulder, and he helped me deal with it.  
  
Amy nods. D-do you think you'll... She trails off.  
  
What's that? I ask.  
  
Nothing. It's not important. She looks at the floor, chewing on a fingernail.   
  
Are you hungry?  
  
She looks up.   
  
Come on. Let's go out. I don't want to cook.  
  
Amy smiles through her tears.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Three Months Later  
  
The funeral was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I wasn't sure what to expect. I had to go through my daughter's funeral a few years ago, which was hard, but burying my husband seemed even worse. Amy didn't take it well either. We spent the rest of that week crying, but after that we started to move on.   
  
It's still strange around the house without Mark around. It's even hard to go back into the store that he and his brother owned. Everyone in there knows us, and we always get that look every time we walk in.  
  
Everything is starting to feel normal again. Amy is still living here. We talked it over with her mother, who seemed very hurt. That was two months ago, and Amy hasn't seen or spoken to her since. Her mother has tried calling a few times, but Amy was either out of the house or told me she didn't want to talk.  
  
I've kept in touch with Mulder. We talk on the phone frequently, and the other day I sent him a long letter. When I don't want to talk to him, I write what I'm feeling, and it makes me feel better.  
  
I often find myself daydreaming, wondering what would have happened if Mark hadn't died. I also wonder what would have happened if Mulder had stayed... and if or when I'll call him back here.  
  
I know I will. I miss him like crazy, and I can't wait to see him again. For a while, though, I think I'll take it easy. Let myself work out a routine here and get used to Mark's absence. I miss him too... but sometimes I wonder if I miss Mulder more.  
  
I'm staring off into space again. I don't even remember what I was thinking. The phone rings, startling out of my reverie. I gasp, and then walk into the kitchen to answer the phone.   
  
Hey, Scully.  
  
I smile. Hi, Mulder. I think it's funny that he still calls me Scully--especially since that isn't even my last name anymore. But he's always called me that. He probably always will. What's up?  
  
Nothing really... well, not nothing... He trails off.  
  
What's wrong? I ask him.  
  
He doesn't answer for a minute. I lost my job.  
  
What? Why? I ask.  
  
He sighs. I don't know. I'm not too upset, I hated it anyway--like I told you, it's not the same without the X-Files...  
  
What are you going to do?  
  
I'm not sure yet. I'm going to move, find a new job in a field office, maybe--  
  
Where would you go?  
  
I don't know yet. Another pause.  
  
I bite my lip. You... you could stay here, I find myself saying.  
  
I wasn't calling to ask that, Scully, he replies.  
  
I know that. But I told you I wanted you to come back someday... maybe that's now.  
  
Are you ready for me to come back?  
  
I nod, and then realize he can't see me. I say softly.   
  
I don't want to be in the way--  
  
You won't be, Mulder. Amy knows... she knows I love you, she knows you're going to come back, she's asked me when you'd be back.  
  
Are you sure it's not too soon?  
  
I'm positive, Mulder. I want you to come back. Please, I say.  
  
A pause. I hear him sigh. I'll be there.  
  
I say.  
  
Not for a few days, though... I've already started packing my stuff... I guess I'll put it in storage. I just wanna move out of here as soon as possible.  
  
I say. I can't believe it. He's finally coming back.  
  
I'll call you, okay? he say.  
  
I say again, my voice barely above a whisper.  
  
We both hang up the phone, and I sit down on the couch. God. He's really coming back... and this time he's staying. I don't know what to do or think. I start to cry, feeling happier than I've been in three months.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Four Days Later  
  
The phone rings early in the morning. I gasp at the noise and sit up. I rub my eyes and look at my alarm clock. 7:22 am. I lay in bed for a moment, and the phone rings again. I glance out my window at the rain falling on my window. With a yawn, I pick up the phone.  
  
I say sleepily.  
  
  
  
I reply, suddenly awake.   
  
I'm at the airport, he says. Can you come pick me up?  
  
Yeah. Where are you?  
  
I'm in the Northwest Terminal, he says. I'll wait for you outside.   
  
I'll be right there, I reply. I hang up the phone and start to get dressed.  
  
I hurry down the hallway to the stairs, stopping at Amy's room. I say softly.  
  
She sits up sleepily.   
  
I'm going to the airport, I say.  
  
  
  
Mulder's there... I'm gonna go pick him up.  
  
Amy nods. Okay... you want me to come?  
  
I pause. No, hon, you go back to sleep.  
  
Kay. Bye Mom, she says, falling back asleep.  
  
I smile and shut the door. Then I hurry downstairs, and go outside into the rain. I get into the car and drive to the airport.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Northwest Terminal  
Detroit Metropolitan Airport  
8:00 am  
  
I pull up to the terminal, looking for Mulder. I pull the car over, trying to see out of the windshield, but it's raining too hard to see, even with the wipers on. I grab my umbrella and step out of the car, scanning the crowd. I call.  
  
Out of the crowd, I pick out a voice.   
  
I yell again. He finally comes out of the crowd, hurrying toward my car.   
  
he say, smiling. I can't help but laugh at him. He's dripping wet.   
  
You're soaked, I say. Come on, get in.  
  
He puts his bags in the back seat, and gets in the car. How was your flight? I ask.  
  
It rained most of the way here, he tells me. I think I'm glad to be back on the ground.  
  
I'm glad you came back, I say softly.  
  
Me too.  
  
I lean over to give him a hug, not caring that he's soaking wet. Then I pull away and smile at him, feeling as if I'm going to cry.  
  
Hey, don't cry, he says, noticing the tears filling up my eyes. He brushes my cheeks with his fingers.   
  
I bite my lip and nod. Then I turn and start the car. So, did you sell your apartment?  
  
He sighs. I moved out last night... I would have called you to tell you I'd be coming in but I didn't even know until this morning. I didn't want to wake you up.  
  
It's okay. The only thing that matters is that you're here now... I pause. Are you really going to stay?  
  
Only if you really want me to, he replies. I could get my own place if you--  
  
I cut him off. I mean, no... I don't want you to go anywhere, I want you to stay here.  
  
I will, Scully.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A Year and a Half Later  
  
I hear a quiet knock on the door, but I don't wake up. I feel Mulder get up out of bed and he walks over to the door. I hear Amy's voice.  
  
Sorry I was so late, she says softly. She had gone out to a movie with some friends.  
  
You know, your mom was really worried, Mulder replies.  
  
I didn't realize how late it was... I'm sorry.  
  
It's okay... did you have fun?   
  
Yup. We went and hung out at McDonald's after the movie, until they kicked us out. Did I wake you up?  
  
Yeah, but it's all right. Go to bed now, okay?  
  
Okay. Good night.  
  
The door shuts and Mulder walks back over to the bed.  
  
Was that Amy?  
  
Yeah, she just got home.  
  
I open my eyes a crack and look at the clock. At a quarter to two in the morning? I sigh.   
  
She's fine, Mulder tells me.  
  
I know... but...  
  
Don't worry about it right now. Go back to sleep.  
  
I sigh again and scoot toward him, settling myself in his arms again. Okay. Good night.  
  
He kisses my forehead. Good night.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Next Morning  
  
I wake up before Mulder and go downstairs to make some coffee. Amy comes down a few minutes later. Morning, Mom, she says, getting a box of cereal out of the cupboard.  
  
What time were you home last night?  
  
Around two, she replies.  
  
You told me you'd be home before midnight.  
  
I know, I'm really sorry.  
  
I wouldn't be upset if you had been back the time you told me you would, I say.  
  
I know! But I got home okay, I--  
  
What if you hadn't gotten home okay? What if something had happened?   
  
But nothing happened! I'm okay, Mom, nothing happened...  
  
But something could have. I just don't want... I trail off and stand up from the table, starting to go back upstairs.  
  
I run into Mulder on my way up. What's the matter? he asks me as I hurry past him. I ignore him and walk into my room and sit down on the bed, crying silently.  
  
He follows me and sits down. Why are you crying? he asks.  
  
I just... I was so worried about Amy last night...  
  
Hey, I know... shh... don't cry. It's okay.  
  
I know, I know... it's just so hard to be the mother of a seventeen year old, when you barely know how...  
  
Mulder holds me tightly. I know, Scully... I was worried too...  
  
I just... I love her as much as I loved Mark... I'm so scared of losing her, too. I try to let her do what she wants, I try not to be overprotective... but I don't want anything to happen to her, I don't want to lose her too...  
  
Mulder doesn't say anything. He rocks back and forth gently, comforting me.  
  
Mulder, do I worry too much?  
  
I don't think you do... I think it's natural for you to be worried about her. I know how much you care about her...  
  
Do you think I'm crazy for still worrying, after almost two years? I pause. You know, every single day of my life, I tell myself I am going to move on... and in so many ways I have, but I won't let myself totally let go...  
  
You don't have to let go, Scully. I wouldn't have let go of losing you if I'd never come back... I might have gotten on with my life, but I'd never let go of you...  
  
I laugh softly, wiping my eyes. This sounds like the end of Titanic... I'll never let go, Jack.' Maybe that's what she was talking about, though... even though she knew Jack was gone, she'd never let go of his memory.  
  
Right. You never have to let go of Mark, but you can move on... I know how strong you are, Scully... and I know you can get yourself through this. But you have to do that alone. It's not something I can help you with... but I will be here when you need me, I promise.  
  
I smile, wiping away the last of my tears. Thank you. I should be able to trust her. She *is* seventeen years old. God, that makes me feel so *old!* She's going to be graduating in less than a year...  
  
Hey, forty isn't *that* old, Mulder says with a smile.  
  
I'm not forty yet, thank you! I say, grabbing a pillow and hitting him with it.  
  
Okay, okay. Thirty-nine isn't that old. And you don't look that old, anyway.  
  
I smile at him, and pull away. I look old enough to have a seventeen year old stepdaughter though, don't I?  
  
Well... yeah. He smiles back at me. I have some errands to run today, he says. I'll probably be back this afternoon.  
  
I have to work at noon, I tell him.  
  
Oh, yeah. I'll make dinner, okay?  
  
I smile again. I'll see you later then.  
  
He gives me a kiss. Before he stands and leaves, I whisper, Thanks for being here for me, Mulder.  
  
You're welcome.  
  
I love you.  
  
I love you too. He kisses me again. Then he stands up and walks out of the room.  
  
I sigh one more time and go back downstairs to apologize to Amy.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
That Evening  
  
I get home from work at 6:30. I can smell dinner cooking. I call into the house.   
  
I'm in the kitchen, he calls back.  
  
I hang up my jacket. Where's Amy?  
  
She went to Lauren's for dinner.  
  
I say with a smile. You didn't *send* her to Lauren's, did you? I ask, walking into the kitchen.  
  
He shakes his head. No... but I did mention that I needed to talk to you tonight. She got the picture. He smiles back at me.  
  
What did you want to talk about?  
  
he says, waving his hand. Go sit down, dinner's ready.  
  
I walk over to the table, and Mulder brings dinner over. I say, nodding. Mulder, I never knew you could cook. He shrugs, and sits down. I'm impressed, I add.  
  
I look around, suddenly aware of the nice tablecloth and candles on the table. Obviously whatever he wants to talk about is important. I bite my lip in anticipation, unconsciously knowing what it is.  
  
We eat dinner, making small talk about our days. A few minutes later, Mulder puts down his fork and clears his throat.  
  
I told you I wanted to talk to you, he says. I was thinking this morning, about you, and about Mark, and Amy... and about us... and I know you're trying so hard to move on, I know you want to... He pauses and takes a deep breath. He reaches into his pocket. Scully... I love you so much. You know that, right?  
  
I--I love you too, I say, taking his hand.   
  
...and I thought all day about the right way to say this to you, and it never came to me. So I guess I'll just have to ask you straight out... will you marry me?  
  
The tears stream down my face before I realize it, and I start to smile. My eyes meet his and suddenly I feel as if a thousand pounds have been lifted from my shoulders. *You can move on,* I tell myself. *You already have.* I smile at Mulder as he slips the ring on my finger, finally knowing that someday has arrived.  
  
THE END  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
NOTE: The town that Scully lives in is based on my town. A lot of the places are the same. Names of places have been changed. Amy is based partly on me. I'm a bitch sometimes. heehee... her name is my friend Amy. She's not a bitch. lol... luv ya Ames! ;)  
  



End file.
